Here in the U.S., we’ve been speculating about when, not if, we’ll become “holed up at home.” For non-Americans, “holed up” means to be in a safe hiding place.
Keeping calm in the absence of definite answers
The San Francisco Bay Area is not only a technology hub, but also a transit hub to Asia. Our communities are full of citizens with strong ties to the East.
When COVID-19 still had no name, San Francisco was welcoming visitors from China and many other parts of the world. Shopping malls had Chinese New Year displays and sales. We were gearing up for the annual tourist surge. Of course, life got in the way.
Before most of the country was getting nervous, here in Northern California – where I live – we were. We were told to re-examine at our earthquake kits and our fire kits. Did we still have face masks from the fire pollution in the last few years? [note: newer guidance discourages wearing a face mask unless you are sick] Did we have fever reducers on hand? Did we have enough food to shelter in place for weeks if not a month? Did we really know how to wash our hands thoroughly and more importantly – are we?
As the coronavirus cases began to mount, we had to stay calm. To confront xenophobia head on. Fear can bring out the worst in people, but it can also bring out the best.
Sometimes it’s difficult. Our county chief health officer, Scott Marrow, doesn’t mince words – as the New York Times says in a recent article about Dr. Marrow. “Prepare for self sufficiency,” Dr. Marrow has repeatedly said. What does that mean?
Wholed up at Home: Coping with the COVID-19 pandemic from home
Preparing for self-sufficiency means making sure you have enough food and household essentials on hand. It means staying home. It means staying calm. And to stay calm – we need to do a few things.
We need to find the “wholeness” in our homes. Rather than being “holed up” we have an opportunity to be “wholed up.”
Step 1: Acknowledge the anxiety
Uncertainty is hard. It produces a lot of anxiety. When a person gets really sick it’s often not knowing the arc of the outcome that’s as hard, if not harder, than the underlying symptoms. In my family, anxiety is a monster on par with, if not larger, than COVID-19. Through the literature, we can – and have – learned a few things.
We learned that people tend to catastrophize; to imagine the worst possible outcome of an action or event, even when the worst-case scenario is unlikely. This is what happens in a pandemic. Not only is there a real health risk, but psychologically people imagine the worst and engage in panic-induced behavior.
The problem here is that panic-induced behavior has a negative reinforcement built in. You feel powerless. You start hoarding resources. But that hoarding doesn’t actually solve the underlying challenge. It provides a temporary relief. Until it doesn’t.
Restated, leaning into panic-inducing behavior will make you feel worse rather than better. Gluing yourself to sensationalist news will make you feel more anxious. Less able to compartmentalize. And this is not helpful.
Step 2: Mitigate the anxiety by finding “wholeness” while “holed up”
While all around the world times are tough, we can lean into the “wholeness” that can be found within our homes. We can take this forced respite as an opportunity to lean into ourselves and our families.
As Dan Zak wrote in a Washington Post article, “People will cook at home, work at home, but they may reach out more. Maybe we’ll flatten the curve together. Maybe that will make us feel more connected.”
There are ways to find connection even in times of increasing isolation. We live in a very interconnected time. We can write, we can video chat, and we can lean into our families as well as our virtual communities.
There are other ways to “whole up at home” too. Following are seven ideas to get you started.
7 strategies for wholeness while confined to our homes
1) Read
One of my favorite bloggers is Jonathan Becher. In one of his posts he defends his “antilibrary,” or his collection of books that he has not yet read.
Jonathan says, “if a library is a store of existing knowledge, an antilibrary represents the potential of unlearned knowledge.” Guess what? One “wholed up at home strategy” is to tackle your antilibrary.
For me, I have an antilibrary of parenting books. I feel comfort in having the words of experts close at hand, but I’ve had trouble in finding the time to sit down and read them. Now is that chance. And the timing is perfect – to fortify parenting skills while my kids are home and bouncing off the walls.
You can also read up on new trends in your industry, in technology, or policy. And if that becomes too heavy, you can read for fun.
One of the most powerful forms of communication is storytelling. And the art of storytelling is learned through reading stories. The more you read the better storyteller you will become.
2) Write
In times of uncertainty we need to make sense of our thoughts. The literature says that we cannot keep intrusive thoughts out of our heads, but we can, through practice, learn how to process/handle those thoughts.
So, write down what you’re feeling. Write it down for yourself. And if you think it would help the collective conversation, share what you write.
There are so many channels to share your thoughts. Socially you can post to a blog on your LinkedIn profile, on your Facebook page, or on Twitter. You can join in community conversations on NextDoor or Reddit. You can contribute to blogs such as this site where I’m publishing mine.
3) Exercise
Parks are closing. Gyms are starting to as well. But even while “holed up” you can exercise. Yoga, for instance, takes very little space and is restorative. One local yoga instructor I know, Concha, has a YouTube channel with new yoga videos each week. Let her, or another instructor, guide your practice for a while.
You can also enjoy the outdoors.
Take your dog for a hike. If social distancing isn’t a problem, walk around your neighborhood. Exposure to sunshine boosts serotonin levels in the body, elevating mood. It also improves sleep and strengthens the immune system – universal goals right now.
4) Create
There are so many ways for people to create while “wholing up” at home.
Therapeutically coloring is an easy way to start. According to Beaumont Hospital, coloring, reduces stress, improves motor skills and vision, improves sleep, and improves focus. You can easily search for coloring pages – for kids or adults – to print out.
Now’s the time to try out knitting. Or create a photobook. Learn to play the ukulele or brush up on guitar.
Crafting bloggers and influencers will teach you how. Use the time that you would’ve spent commuting before to unwind in a creative activity. Joann Fabrics and Creativebug have just joined forces to offer 2 months free access to thousands of online art and craft classes. Even if crafting isn’t your thing, it can certainly be helpful in keeping kids occupied while “wholing” up at home.
5) Cook
On top of everything else, people are going to need to cook. A lot. More than normal. And with less access to fresh ingredients.
Necessity will make us become “iron chefs” within our kitchens. But don’t fret. One of the most comprehensive recipe sites, AllRecipes.com, has a feature which lets you find recipes based on the ingredients you have – and those you don’t.
One recipe that my family plans to make a lot is called friendship soup. It uses mostly canned / dry ingredients (plus meat which can be frozen), is nutritionally rich, and kid approved.
6) Be mindful / meditate
Like many people, I find that COVID-19 is tremendously distracting. Most people know someone who is larger than life and commands all the attention in the room.
COVID-19 is similar in some respects. Not since 9/11 have I personally witnessed the collective conscience so singularly focused. Practicing mindfulness and meditation can help. It can help you to compartmentalize, to engage your senses, and to focus on what matters – family and work.
7) Talk it out
The popular parenting book, Listen, proposes the idea that parents who listen to one another’s struggles without judgement refill their buckets and are better able to handle the challenges of parenting.
This idea finds relevance for all adults – parents or not – trying to “whole up at home” during the COVID-19 pandemic. As the days stretch onto weeks, we will all be fighting isolation. We need to take a lesson from group therapy and find community(ies) where we can share our challenges in maintaining productivity, staying calm, and otherwise coping.
Step 3: Repeat
There you have it. Seven strategies to find the “wholeness” in being “holed up at home.” To make the strategies work, they must be practiced. Coping requires setting up a routine. Creating new adaptive habits.
Don’t beat yourself up if you still fight anxiety or struggle with distraction. It’s normal. Just keep with it. Acknowledge the anxiety again. Try to mitigate it again. Stand up for finding normalcy and allow yourself to find some joy, or at least enjoyment, in the comforts of your home. You, and your family, and your company, are more resilient than you ever imagined.
